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It's Halloween Night, a fancy dress ball, or any old day you intend to scare the living piss out of someone in an instant, non-illegal way. There are hundreds of costumes professionally made that you can purchase for the event. Oh, did you forget to mention you're a cheapskate? Well saddle up, pardner, because if you wanna emulate the cheapo charlie versions of Judd & Anthony's horror heroes, you gotta think like those idiots.

"Anthony as Freddy" Costume

You will need:

  • One generic fedora hat from K-Mart

  • The tissues off your bedside draw

  • Generic Sweatshirt (remember Anthony scratched off the camp logo)

  • Gardening glove

  • Silver reflective cardboard

  • Big fat red marker

I explained some of how to do Anthony's "burn flaked face" on the SC2 audio commentary and here's the deal in detail: Tear off pieces of tissue in no general shape, we're trying to attempt ragged and unformed here, not origami. Did I mention be doing this in the bathroom? Hold the tissue segment onto your cheek with one hand, with the other, let some tap water run onto your fingers, then smear it very gently all over the tissue. You will find the tissue will blend completely onto your face like a second skin! Now's time to destroy that second skin. Use your finger to scratch a hole in the middle of it or wherever you damn well please. Repeat this in a few other areas of your face, and you've got the burnt skin. Now for coloration. Get your jumbo read marker and dab it in the scored places in the tissues. You will find the red once in contact with the wet tissue will 'bleed' and thus complete the effect. Get this all done before it dries and you're done. Test this process on your hand first if you're unsure.

Now for the glove. Don't be stupid and use real blades, look what happened when poor Anthony tried that. No sir. Get your silver cardboard and cut out four knife shapes (using scissors - get a parent or steady handed pal to help - all same size - use a ruler), then cut notches into the tip of each glove finger. Dab super glue on the base of each fake blade and position them inside the finger notches then press slightly to seal. And make sure your fingers aren't in the glove when you do this. Trust me. Now while that dries, cut out four small rectangular pieces from the cardboard which you will then loop and secure with more glue on the finger tips, into rings which will hide the crudeness and match the movie glove Anthony makes to a T.

"Judd as Jason" Costume

This one isn't as so much an exercise in implementing household items as a case of getting off your ass and shelling out a little more dosh then we expected. But don't worry, you'll still have change left for dinner at Denny's. Generic clothes are a must, as I don't think anyone's ready to piss their pants at Jason in a Metallica t-shirt.

The hockey mask! You could order one of the hundreds of specialized Jason movie masks off the net, but remember Judd put together an impromptu rendition of Jason and that's what your dressing up as, not the real Jason. So get on down to your local sporting goods store and by a real hockey mask, preferably one with angular slits which will match the movie, but any old one will do, because an actual hockey mask, worn by someone anonymous is damn scary and will get you candy, and possibly laid. The machete, get a plastic one from a dime store. A real one is sure to get you gunned down by the boys in blue. Using the silver cardboard to make one will do, too.

"Angela as Leatherface" Costume

Got a third wheel coming along? We can handle that too.

  • Long sleeve baggy dark green shirt

  • Khaki colored pants

  • Black beanie

(I've also just described your basic hiphop homie which would be a scary enough costume.)

The mask: Get yourself a rubber mask, you know, one of the cheap ones of some goofy guy or Richard Nixon or whatever. That's not important because we're gonna cut it to shreds. So get it, then grab them scissors and cut the face out (if it's a full head mask). Cut the face into roughly three pieces, in diagonal, wavy cuts. Then stitch, or for you lazyasses, glue, the pieces back together. Then drape some fresh fake blood over it and wham! You have your poverty-row Angela/Leatherface mask!

Chainsaw optional.

Note: Instructions on this page given in good faith and the writer does not assume liability if little Jimmy Fanboy mangles himself or others.



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