ANGELA'S SLEEPAWAYS By Teddy Johnson Story by: Methos Giles Lavery John Klyza Peter Baker Ronnie Fisher Episode # 003: "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha-ha" FADE IN: Bar. Int. Night. The camera pans across a seedy bar in the outskirts of Schenectady. Eventually, it makes it over to a table where drinkers ANDY MCGEE, ROY BARNS, and FRANK MCMURRAY are sitting, drinking beer, and heavy amounts of it. ROY: You know, there's been another murder in Schenectady. FRANK: Really? ROY: Yeah. Police don't have any clues to go on. There was nothing left at the crime scene. ANDY: You know who did it, don't you? FRANK: No. ROY: Impart some wisdom on us, Sherlock. ANDY: Angela Baker. FRANK: Ang-- Angela Baker?! ROY: Come on. She's dead. Or in prison. ANDY: Oh, they just want you to think that. The fact is, the body they buried in 1989 didn't look at all like Angela according to the few surviving eyewitnesses. Some people think she still lives at the camp. This news is somewhat weighing on Roy and Frank. FRANK: You know, somebody ought to go out there and burn that damned camp. ANDY: Well, why don't we? Roy and Frank look at each other. ANDY: I mean, there ain't nobody out there... unless you believe the old stories. Ain't nobody gonna miss the place. It's been abandoned for years. ROY: Well. FRANK: Yeah, sure. Why not? Let's do it. Frank is about to stand up from the table. ANDY: Wait, wait, wait. I'm gonna call my brother and his pals. They love doing stuff like this. CUT TO: Cabin. Int. Night. Angela is sitting on an old couch in one of the dilapidated cabins at Camp Rolling Hills. She is going through a series of letters she has received at the camp. ANGELA (reading envelopes): "Angela Baker, You may OWE Ed MacMahon ten million dollars." Angela tosses the letter aside. ANGELA (reading envelope): "Angela Baker, you have been preapproved for a gold card." Great, I'm preapproved, therefore there's nothing to go over, is there? Angela rolls her eyes and tosses the letter aside. ANGELA (to self): Hmm... Another letter from the Angela Baker Fan Club. Angela uses her fingernails to open up the envelope from which she pulls a letter out and begins to read it. ANGELA (reads letter): "Dearest Angela," aw... "I'm coming to find you soon. There are a few people coming with me, but I'm sure you'll have no problem dealing with them. See ya soon!" Angela lies the letter on her chest, tilts her head back, and closes her eyes. After a few seconds, she looks into the camera. ANGELA: Aw... love letters from my fans. Remember, I'm not just a member of the Angela Baker Fan Club, I'm also the president! Angela begins to laugh sinisterly. CUT TO: Road. Ext. Night. A blue 1989 Oldsmobile drives out of the soft darkness and slowly pulls over onto the side of the road before coming to a complete stop. The doors open up and Andy, Roy, and Frank all step out, now somewhat more sober. Andy goes around to the back of the car and opens up the trunk. The other two men follow him around and as the trunk is opened, each takes a can of gasoline. Andy closes the trunk and the three men look up. About 330 feet ahead of them is the Rolling Hills campgrounds, still as run-down looking as ever. ANDY: We're here. (pause) Let's do this. The three men begin to walk up the road towards the campground. Each of the men carry their gasoline can in one hand and a flashlight in the other. The impassive moon that hangs overhead is the only light from which the men can see. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Night. The men walk onto the grounds of the camp. FRANK (whispers): This place seems... (swallows) Almost evil. ROY: It IS evil. The three men each turn on their flashlights, revealing a log cabin nearby. The cabin is actually the camp's dining hall. The men stare in bewilderment at the building as they realize that somebody has been living there. FRANK: I'm not sure the camp is abandoned after all, guys. ROY: Is somebody already here? The wind blows gently through the night and the men become extremely afraid. Suddenly, the Oldsmobile can be heard in the distance starting up and backing away farther and farther down the road. The men turn and listen to the noise until it comes to a stop. ROY: Oh, crap. Who was that? What's going on?! We can't get back without our car. The trio drop their gas cans on the ground and move over to the door of the dining hall. Andy turns the knob and opens it and the three step inside. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Night. The men's flashlights sweep through the room, revealing the discarded chairs and tables that are cluttered about. ANDY: How could anybody live in this? Suddenly, the flashlight beams discover a large white banner hanging across the hall reading, "WELCOME TO CAMP ROLLING HILLS!". Frank swallows and his skin turns a sickly pale color. FRANK: It's Angela Baker! She's back! She's trying to reopen the camp! I know it! She stole our car and now she's coming back for us! We are doomed! ROY (stammers): It's not possible... She's dead... or in prison. Andy pulls out a handgun from beneath his jeans. He switches off the safety, but the gun trembles in his uncertain hands. ANGELA (o.s.): I'm here... Suddenly, a single strobe light blasts on and the three men whip around in shock. Standing there, bathed in the white light, is the Angel of Death herself, Angela Baker. Roy's mouth drops to the ground. Andy and Frank stand immobile, frozen in fear. ANGELA: Welcome campers! Andy is finally able to control himself and pulls up his gun to fire. However, when Andy finally aims, Angela is gone from sight. Roy looks around the hall like a scared rabbit. ROY: Where did she go? Suddenly, a wire wraps around Andy's head. The man screams and tries to pull it away from his head. His pals, again frozen with fear, are anything but effective. ANGELA (o.s.): Let's go for a ride! CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Night. Angela ties one end of the wire around the bumper of her jeep, the same one seen in "Sleepaway Camp 3." She then walks around and gets into the jeep, but suddenly hesitates. ANGELA (thinks): Hmm... is it just me or am I getting a serious case of deja vu? Angela fishes out some keys and starts up the jeep. She quickly begins to drive away. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Night. Frank and Roy are trying to pull the wire away from Andy's head, but it has been wrapped too tightly. Suddenly, Andy is jerked off his feet and out of the hall, screaming. CUT TO: Road. Ext. Night. Angela's jeep drives down the road, dragging behind it the screaming Andy. Suddenly, the wire cuts through Andy's throat and his head falls clean off. CUT TO: Jeep. Int. Night. ANGELA (thinks): Ah, I remember now. Bobby. How careless of me! I wonder how he's doing these days. CUT TO: Road. Ext. Night. The jeep comes to a sudden halt next to the Oldsmobile, which has been driven into the ditch. The car's four tires have been slashed and the hood is propped open, revealing an engine which has been mercilessly beaten and hacked apart. Angela steps out of the jeep and walks around back to see the head still tied to an end of the wire. The Angel of Death takes a moment to reflect and admire her handiwork. Eventually, Angela goes back to the jeep to dig out a long knife for one hand and a silver-tipped ax for the other. She then walks back over to the disembodied head and smirks. ANGELA: I'll be heading out now. Angela then turns and, with her trademark grin, heads back up the road towards the camp and the her other two victims. CUT TO: Forest. Int. Night. Frank is staggering around the trees alone. The trees sit idly around and a leaf falls into Frank's face, causing him to jolt in fright. Eventually, Frank collects his barrings again and trudging along deeper into the woods. Frank looks up to see a light in the distance. CUT TO: Cabin porch. Ext. Night. Angela is scanning the area, holding a pair of binoculars over her eyes. After a few moments of finding nothing, she sets the binoculars down. Angela sets the binoculars down and starts to move away when suddenly Frank barrels into her, knocking both of them to the ground. Angela tries to shake Frank off her, but he refuses to let go. Frank manages to hit Angela several times in the head with somewhat hard blows. Angela grunts with each hit, but is unharmed. Frank then begins to shake Angela up and down like a rag doll. FRANK: You're not gonna get me! Y'hear?! Angela simply stops struggling and lies on the ground, grinning at Frank. Frank reaches back to slap Angela, but soon realizes her knife is sticking out of his stomach. Angela silently slides the blade into Frank's ribs, causing gore to stain her sweater. Frank's body goes limp and Angela pushes the dead weight off her and onto the ground. Angela rises to her feet and looks down on Frank's corpse, blood still running out of his body. Angela wipes Frank's blood from her hands and neck, but spots her ax sitting against a tree. She walks over to the tree and carries the ax over to Frank's body. ANGELA: Head's up! Angela draws back the ax, then decapitates Frank's corpse. She then looks around the area and eventually finds her favorite toy, a big, long stick. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Night. Roy is resting on a rather large rock sticking out of the ground. ROY: Andy! Frank! Are you there?! Frank's head sticks out from behind a nearby tree. Roy looks over and sees it. ROY: Frank! You're still alive! Roy gets up off the rock and walks over to Frank's head. ANGELA (o.s.): My aunt used to say that-- Angela jumps out from behind the tree with Frank's head on the stick. Roy backs away, screaming in terror. Angela approaches the terrified Roy and pushes Frank's head down further onto the stick. However, Roy finally gathers his wits about him and pulls out a pocket knife from his back jeans pocket. Angela sees this and is somewhat startled. Roy flings back his wrist, then throws the knife, hitting Angela in her left side. Angela gasps and squints her eyes in pain, but doesn't even stop. She uses the free end of the stick to jam into Roy's eyes. Roy screams in pain and gropes at his bleeding eyes, then falls to his knees. Angela draws back and uses the end of the stick with Frank's head to knock Roy's head clean off. ANGELA: Like I was saying, my aunt used to say, "An eye for an eye and a head for a head!" Angela suddenly drops the stick and begins to groan in pain. She grabs the pocket knife, pulls it out of her side, and disdainfully tosses it to the ground. Angela looks around, angered, then slowly begins to stagger away. Fade out. FADE IN: Road. Ext. Day. A truck turns off an off-ramp and onto an adjoining road. Soon, the truck begins racing down the road, leaving only clouds of dust behind. CUT TO: Road. Ext. Day. The same truck barrels down the road leading to Camp Rolling Hills. The truck is going so fast, its occupants don't give a moments thought to the abandoned jeep or the vandalized car on the side of the road. CUT TO: Truck. Int. Day. Inside the truck is MAD DOG MCGEE, his girlfriend SARAH, who holds a beer between her legs, then EDDIE EDELSON, who is scrunched over, reading a paperback edition of the book, "Angela Baker: Portrait of a Serial Killer." All three seem to be oblivious to anything around them as they continue down the road. CUT TO: Truck. Ext. Day. Lying unconscious in the bed of the truck is BUBBA BAKOWSKI, a large, bearded man, surrounded in a sea of seemingly never-ending beer cans. Also seen in the bed are several gasoline cans and hunting rifles. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Day. The truck comes tearing through the camp site, then finally comes to a noisy stop in what must have been the camp's archery range. A cloud of dust follows the truck, but finally dissipates. After the dust settles, Mad Dog climbs out of the window of the door and onto the roof of the cab where he stands like a rooster crowing over the barnyard. MAD DOG: Hey, Andy! Where are ya, baby brother?! I hope you didn't start without us! I have the yern'n to do some burn'n! Mad Dog roars with laughter, but there is no response from anywhere at the camp. Sarah opens up the door of the truck and steps out onto the grounds. SARAH: I don't like this. I feel like we're not alone. Mad Dog jumps down from the cab of the truck. MAD DOG: We're not alone, idiot! My brother Andy and his dork friends are here too. (looks around) Somewhere. Eddie, who had apparently slipped out of the truck while the others were talking, walks over to Mad Dog and Sarah. EDDIE: Well, where are they? MAD DOG: How should I know, Eddie?! SARAH: Guys, did you hear something? The trio all turns around to see someone in the woods coming straight for them. The person in question is OLD BILL, a town hermit who has apparently wandered out to the site for some odd reason. Mad Dog rolls his eyes, recognizing who it is. MAD DOG: You old fart, you scared us half to death. What the hell are you doing out here? Old Bill walks up to Mad Dog and doesn't stop until he's just inches from his face. OLD BILL (whispers): Shhh... Can't you tell? Listen. The others look around, not finding anything of apparent concern. Mad Dog looks to Sarah and Eddie. Eddie shrugs. MAD DOG: What is it, old man?! OLD BILL: Aye, there is a disturbance here. EDDIE: Yeah, that's right. It's us. CUT TO: Dining Hall. Int. Day. Angela is there, with the three corpses of Andy, Roy, and Frank. She can hear the others talking, then turns and limps to the window. ANGELA (to corpses): Hmm, boys. Looks like we have company. Angela turns and limps away from the window. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Ext. Night. The truck is still in the same place it was during the day only now, its radio blasts rock music into the night sky. The three people have started a bonfire from old logs and sticks around the place. Mad Dog and Sarah are sitting next to each other close to the fire. Old Bill and Eddie are also nearby. Eddie is again reading in his book. The ungodly snoring of Bubba can be heard in the distance from the still hung-over drunk. Mad Dog reaches for another stick and stokes the fire. As he pokes at the flames, he notices something sticky over it. MAD DOG: Uggghh! What is this all over this stick?! SARAH: Probably just some kind of tree sap. Mad Dog sets the stick onto the ground. MAD DOG: Andy chickened out. Bubba drank all the beer and I'm out here, missing "WWF Raw". OLD BILL: I have some hooch stashed near the old mess hall. Old Bill stands up and shuffles away into the darkness, looking like a walking corpse as he moves. As Old Bill leaves, Sarah begins to pitch a tent. CUT TO: Dining hall. Ext. Night. Old Bill comes into view and looks around beneath the porch of the crumbling dining hall. After a few moments, Bill is unable to find his stored booze and stands up, disillusioned. OLD BILL: Where's my damned liquor? Angela steps out behind Bill, holding a bottle of beer. ANGELA: Right here! Angela takes the bottle and smashes it over the top of Bill's head, knocking him to the ground. She then bends down and picks up a long shard of glass and rams it into the groaning man's liver. Angela then stands back up, holding her left side. ANGELA: You should have known that beer would do in that liver of yours one day. Angela turns her head and looks around. ANGELA: Now, let's find your buddies. Angela stumbles away, leaving Old Bill to die. CUT TO: Bonfire. Ext. Night. Eddie now sits all alone, still reading his paperback book about Angela. His lips move as he begins page 133. The page reads, "NOTED CRIMINOLOGIST T. TALLMAN SPECULATES IN HIS WIDELY ADMIRED 'THE DEATH OF ANGELA BAKER' THAT ANGELA MAY ACTUALLY COVET HER OWN DEMISE. HARBORING THE SECRET HOPE THAT EACH POTENTIAL VICTIM SHE HUNTS WILL SOMEHOW HAVE THE STRENGTH TO CONFRONT AND SLAY HER... THUS GRANTING A FINAL RELEASE FROM THE CONSTANT INNER TORMENT OF HER TROUBLED LIFE. FURTHER TALLMAN SUGGESTS THAT MS. BAKER IS LIKELY TO RETURN TO THE SCENE OF HER CRIMES UNTIL SHE IS STOPPED." Eddie puts down the book, then looks up in shock. EDDIE (aghast): Holy crap. Eddie looks up to see a tall figure standing over him with an ax. Before he can duck, the ax comes shooting through the sky in his direction. Just as the ax is about to bury itself in Eddie's face, it comes to a complete stop in mid-air. Eddie looks up the handle of the ax to see Bubba holding it at the other end. Bubba is smiling, but soon bursts out in laughter. BUBBA: You should have seen your face. You thought I was that killer, didn't you? Bubba roars with laughter. EDDIE: Very funny. You could have killed me. This fact is apparently lost on Bubba and Eddie kicks him in the leg as he gets up and walks away. Bubba also turns and walks away, heading back over to the truck. Just before he can get in, he falls to the ground and passes out again. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Night. Eddie opens up the door to the dining hall and steps in. He starts using a flashlight to look around the place. He sees the same chairs and tables that are strewn about the place as usual. Soon, though, he also spots the corpses of Andy, Frank, and Roy, all headless. The corpses are all seated at one of the tables in various poses that had been prearranged by somebody. Roy and Frank are arranged to look like they're playing chess... Frank is winning. Eddie is taken aback by this, but it doesn't seem to disturb him too much... almost as if he were expecting to see this. Eddie scans his flashlight beam along the floor and sees a tennis shoe lying out nearby. Eddie slowly walks closer and closer to the foot. He finally gets close enough to where he can see that the foot belongs to Angela, who apparently has dozed off. Sitting next to Angela on the floor are her big knife and ax. Eddie cautiously approaches the sleeping Angel of Death and quietly moves her weapons away. He then slowly and hesitantly reaches out and shakes Angela's shoulder. After a few shakes, Angela slowly awakens. ANGELA: Wha... ? Huh? Angela quickly jolts to life when she realizes she's been woken by someone. EDDIE: Shhh... shhh! Angela looks around, but sees that her weapons are closer to Eddie than they are to her. EDDIE: Hello, Angela Baker. I'm your biggest fan. Angela looks around, confused. EDDIE: Wow, Angela Baker. I've always wanted to meet you. My name is Eddie... Eddie Edelson. Did you get my letters? ANGELA: Uh, yeah... I remember you. You seemed so nice. EDDIE: Look, the others are gonna freak if they find out you're here. You'd better be careful. They've got hunting rifles and they plan to burn you. ANGELA: Burn Angela Baker? Do I look like I have the time to go around invading people's dreams using their own fears against them while making wise- ass remarks? No. I'm a busy woman. We're just gonna have to get to them first. EDDIE: Shhh... They'll hear you. Listen, why don't you wait until tomorrow night. They're waiting for Andy and his friends to show up and I'm sure he won't leave without them. So, you've got a good 12-20 hours to come up with some kind of plan. ANGELA: More than enough time. As for Andy and his pals, well, I think they're gonna be a little late. EDDIE: Yeah, I noticed that. ANGELA: And that doesn't bother you? EDDIE: Nah. These people are just rednecks nobody'll miss. You're doing mankind a service by weeding them out. ANGELA: Hmm... that's kinda what I was thinking. Are you insane too? EDDIE: I don't think so. ANGELA: Then, why are you here with them? EDDIE: I just wanted to meet you. ANGELA: Aw... how sweet. (pause; yawns) I must have dozed off there. I'm getting too old for this. I had the weirdest dream. Some guy named Ronnie Fisher was controlling my every move. He made me kill you by the bonfire... but of course you're very much alive. EDDIE: That I am. ANGELA: Ronnie Fisher must be a figment of my imagination... or maybe I'm just crazy. Who knows? But I think he had a great idea about the gasoline. EDDIE: What was that? ANGELA (winks): Later... (pause) Can you guarantee those clowns will be here till tomorrow night? EDDIE: Sure, and even if they think about leaving I can stall them. ANGELA: Stall them how? EDDIE: By not being there. They wouldn't leave without me... I don't think. ANGELA: Good. Then, I'm going to bed. To hell with this. Eddie chuckles. Angela has trouble getting to her feet and Eddie notices the blood on left side. EDDIE: You're hurt. ANGELA (points thumb to corpses): Yeah. One of these clowns tried to stab me. However, I had to show them how it's done, if ya catch my drift. EDDIE: I do. Is there no first aid around? ANGELA: Yeah, there's some supplies way in back, but I just haven't made it over there yet. EDDIE: I'll get it. ANGELA: Well, okay. Just don't try anything stupid. Eddie turns and starts to walk away, but Angela grabs him by the shoulder before he's too far and gives him a dead serious look. ANGELA: I'm sure you won't. Angela lets go of Eddie and he turns and moves away. CUT TO: Bonfire. Ext. Night. Eddie comes walking back out to the still going fire. He goes back to a tree he was sitting against and starts to read his book. Apparently, no one even really knew he was gone. Sarah and Mad Dog are now in a tent that has been pitched nearby. Eddie looks around and sees that he is alone in the quiet dark, and probably safe, then goes back to reading in his book. FADE TO: Bonfire. Ext. Day. It is now the next morning. The bonfire has gone completely out and Eddie is fast asleep. The noise of a truck's door slamming causes him to jolt awake. Eddie adjusts his eyes to the daylight, then looks over and sees Mad Dog and Sarah packing up and preparing to leave. Eddie realizes what's happening and slowly gets up. EDDIE: What's happening? MAD DOG: We're leavin'. I got other things to take care of besides waiting around on Andy's dumb ass. EDDIE: No, you can't go. You have to stay. The guys might show up at any moment. MAD DOG: To hell with 'em, they should have been here. Come on, let's go. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Day. Angela walks through the clutter, chewing on an apple for breakfast. She apparently hasn't gotten the opportunity to get dressed yet as is apparent by the fact she's only wearing her jeans and her breastplate. Angela hears the commotion outside and goes over to a window to see what's happening. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Day. Eddie, Sarah, and Mad Dog are still outside arguing. SARAH: My sister's coming in to visit and we've got to pick her up anyway. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Day. Angela carefully watches her intended victims. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Day. EDDIE: Well, look, what if you came back tonight, in case they showed up? You could bring your sister along. SARAH: Well... Sarah looks up to Mad Dog. MAD DOG: Yeah, I guess we could do that, you know. Depending upon what your sister wants to do. Eddie breathes a sigh of relief. MAD DOG: So what are you gonna do? Stay here? EDDIE: Yeah. I'll stay in case Andy or one of his pals turn up. SARAH: Hey, why are you so concerned about what Andy and his friends are up to anyway? Eddie stammers, trying to think something up. EDDIE: Well, uh... Andy owes me 50 bucks and I want to make sure I get it as soon as possible. Sarah shrugs. MAD DOG: Sounds right. EDDIE: What are you gonna do about Bubba? MAD DOG: Aw, hell. Leave 'im. Eddie laughs. EDDIE: Okay. See you guys later tonight. SARAH: See ya. Sarah and Mad Dog climb into the truck. Mad Dog starts the ignition then starts to pull away. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Day. Angela slowly nods her head a few times, then turns and walks away as the truck exits the campgrounds outside. CUT TO: Road. Ext. Day. Mad Dog's truck zooms down the road leading away from Camp Rolling Hills. As it leaves, it should be noticed that the jeep and Oldsmobile have been removed from the side of the road. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Day. Eddie comes walking into the crumbling room. EDDIE: Angela! Angela is sitting at the table next to the Frank, Roy, and Andy corpses. She is reading the day's newspaper, apparently delivered earlier that morning, and still hasn't put a sweater or shoes on. She looks down over the paper to see what the problem is. ANGELA: What is it? EDDIE: Don't worry. They're coming back tonight. They might even be bringing somebody new as well. Eddie is obviously a little nervous about things. ANGELA: I know. And that's good. Angela notices Eddie's breathing hard. ANGELA: What's the matter? EDDIE: Oh, it's just that... (pause) Well, nothing. ANGELA: Relax, Eddie. I ain't gonna kill you. You're too nice a guy to ice. (laughs) Hey, that rhymed! Eddie chuckles. EDDIE (points to the corpses): What are you gonna do about these guys? ANGELA: Bah. They've served as much purpose as they're gonna. I'm gonna have to get 'em out of here before they get ripe. EDDIE: Where at? ANGELA: Oh, there's an old cabin up in the woods. Bodies make good fertilizer too. My roses have won prizes, you know. EDDIE: Really? ANGELA: Mm-hm. Of course, I don't go around using my own name when the judges come, you know. EDDIE: Of course. CUT TO: Field. Ext. Day. Angela and Eddie are all alone in the field. Both look tired, probably from lugging the corpses of Andy, Roy, and Frank to wherever. Angela's sweater has a few stains on them from the corpses' blood. ANGELA: You know, I really appreciate you helping me with this. EDDIE: Don't worry about it. It's no problem. A pensive smile passes over Angela's lips. ANGELA: You know... it's been quite a while since I've had a... EDDIE: Friend? Angela shyly smiles and laughs. Eddie takes Angela's left hand in his own and the two continue to walk hand-in-hand across the field. EDDIE: So, what do you do out here? ANGELA: Not much. There's not all that much to do at a deserted camp. I'm really happy you came, well not your friends, but you in particular. I used to love people. Now, nobody comes around much. There's no one around to hear my various witty remarks. EDDIE: Well, Angela, everyone in town's scared of you. ANGELA: They should be. They tried to kill me one time. EDDIE: When? ANGELA: It was a long time ago. Back when the camp was still open. I got cut up pretty badly. Way worse than I was last night. (thumps breastplate) It seems like every time I forget to wear this thing, I end up getting stabbed or shot or something. Anyway, I was lying there and the paramedic and a policeman were going to kill me with something... an injection or something, I don't know. Luckily, I came to and took care of 'em. EDDIE: Good. They deserved it. ANGELA: That's the position I took. It was either them or me. EDDIE: Well, if you were hurt bad, how'd you get away? ANGELA: Oh, the driver turned out to be someone I knew a long time ago and he helped me get away, but he wanted something in return, so I had to fix him too. EDDIE: Geez. That's too bad. ANGELA: I wish they would open the camp up again. I miss being a counselor. Kids coming to you with their problems, seeing the smiles on their faces. EDDIE: But there's always the jerks in the bunch. ANGELA: I always lived by the mantra "problem/ problem solved" and when those people show up, I have Mr. Weedwhacker do the solvin' for me. Eddie laughs, which causes Angela to smile. EDDIE: I don't know how people could be so cruel to you. You're a great person. You're charming, graceful, polite, pretty. Angela smiles. ANGELA: Thank you very much. That's nice of you to say. EDDIE: Well, it's true. Angela bends across and kisses Eddie on the side of the face. EDDIE: Well, it's still gonna be a while before Mad Dog and the others get back. ANGELA (scoffs): Mad Dog? Angela shakes her head in disgust causing Eddie to chuckle. EDDIE: Yeah. What are we gonna do until they get back? ANGELA: Well... (thinks) Wanna have a little fun? EDDIE: Always. Angela smiles knowingly at Eddie. ANGELA: Catch me if you can! Angela lets go of Eddie's hand and begins to run and jump around the grass, taunting Eddie to catch her. Eddie just watches her, not really knowing what to think. ANGELA: Come on, slowpoke! I've seen crippled slugs that are faster than you. Angela continues to run about the place and finally Eddie takes chase. The two approach the forest that surrounds the camp and soon disappear amongst the trees, both giggling and laughing. Fade out. FADE IN: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Night. Mad Dog's truck drives onto the grounds again. The doors open up and Mad Dog, Sarah, and her sister DION step out of the truck. DION (looks around): This is this place? SARAH: Yeah. Creepy as hell, isn't it? DION: Sure is. MAD DOG: Eddie! Are ya still here?! CUT TO: Cabin. Int. Night. Angela and Eddie are lying asleep in her rickety old bed in one of the nearby cabins. Mad Dog's yelling can be heard from outside and it wakes both sleepers up. Eddie gets out of Angela's bed, wearing only his jeans. EDDIE: Egad, they're here! ANGELA: Don't worry about it. Get 'em to look around for the others. (points) Take that corkscrew over there. Eddie picks up a corkscrew lying nearby and studies it. He then looks up at Angela. ANGELA: Hey, it was the only thing I could find. We were a little busy, you know. Eddie smiles as he puts his shirt back on. EDDIE: Hey, and they've brought another friend for us. ANGELA: Great! I'll be out soon. Eddie turns and walks out of the room. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Int. Night. Eddie comes walking out of the cabin he and Angela were sleeping in. EDDIE: Hey, guys! SARAH: Hey Eddie! MAD DOG: Did Andy or his friends ever finally show up? EDDIE (looks around): Uh, yeah. They're around here somewhere. They've been waitin' on you so they can burn this place to the ground. MAD DOG: Great! Let's go get 'em. EDDIE: Hey, what about Bubba? Whatever happened to him? SARAH: He's still in the back of the truck, isn't he? MAD DOG: Yeah, I don't know what that guy got into, but he's been laid up for three days now. Eddie chuckles. EDDIE: Well, come on. Let's go find 'em. DION: I'm just gonna wait here, if ya don't mind. SARAH: Okay, it we won't be long. Mad Dog walks off, followed by Sarah and Eddie. Dion just stands around looking at the scenery. An owl can be heard hooting in the distance. Something resembling footsteps can be heard, but Dion pays them no attention. ANGELA (o.s): Hello, dirty slut. Prepared to die? Dion spins around and gasps, seeing Angela standing before her, holding a pitchfork. Before Dion can say or do anything, Angela thrusts the pitchfork into Dion's stomach. Dion grabs the handle of the pitchfork, then collapses onto the ground. CUT TO: Dining hall. Ext. Night. Mad Dog, Sarah, and Eddie approach the dining hall. EDDIE: You know what? I think Roy said they were going to see if there was anything left to eat in the mess hall. They might still be in there. MAD DOG: Hmm... (yells) Andy?! You in there?! Mad Dog goes to open the door. CUT TO: Dining hall. Int. Night. The door opens and Mad Dog steps in, followed by Sarah, and Eddie. The three look around, but see nothing of any importance. MAD DOG: Andy? Ya in here? EDDIE: No, I don't think so. Eddie locks the door leading out of the dining hall. SARAH: Eddie, what are you doing? EDDIE: You idiots came here to destroy this place and kill a great human being. I can't allow you to do that. MAD DOG: Uh, Ed, what are you talking about and you'd better open that door before I make you open it. EDDIE: None of you get it. You're all afraid of her because you don't understand her. You never understood anything. SARAH: Eddie, what the hell are you talking about? EDDIE: You and all the others always made fun of me because you though I was a geek. You didn't respect me and neither did any of the others. Eddie suddenly pulls out the corkscrew Angela gave him. MAD DOG: This ain't funny, Eddie. You'd better drop that corkscrew before I take it from you and shove it into a very uncomfortable place. EDDIE: You're right. It isn't. Suddenly, Eddie draws back and throws the corkscrew straight into Mad Dog's chest. Mad Dog yells, then drops to the ground as blood begins to flow out of him. Sarah screams, then turns and runs off the other way. Eddie heads after her in pursuit. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills. Ext. Night. Sarah comes running out of the back entrance and begins running through the camp. Eddie soon follows. Sarah's yelling is enough to cause Bubba to awaken from his slumber in the back of the truck. Sarah continues to run, with Eddie still following behind. Suddenly, Angela steps out in front of Sarah from behind a tree, brandishing a large machete. ANGELA: Greetings, camper! Sarah screams again and jerks back in fright. She looks back to find herself sandwiched in between Angela and Eddie. EDDIE: Any last words? ANGELA: Hey, Eddie. Wanna take this one? EDDIE: Sure, why not? Angela tosses the machete to Eddie, which he catches in his right hand. Eddie draws back and with a single lop, beheads Sarah. Angela applauds Eddie's kill as Sarah's body falls to the ground. ANGELA: Nice job. Couldn't do better myself. EDDIE: Thanks. Suddenly, something catches Eddie's eye and his eyes open in fright. EDDIE: Angela, look out! Eddie jumps into Angela and pushes her to the ground. A gunshot is heard and Eddie is shot in the chest. Eddie groans, then too falls to the ground. Angela is shocked and looks around to see what happened. Standing nearby is Bubba, with one of Mad Dog's hunting rifles. BUBBA: Damn! Bubba starts to load another shell into the rifle. BUBBA: Here it comes you, b-- Angela quickly crawls over to Eddie and wrests the machete from his hand, then turns and throws it into Bubba's chest. Bubba yells and drops the gun as blood squirts out both sides of him. Finally, Bubba topples over as Angela watches wrathfully. Angela gets to her feet again, then walks over to Bubba's corpse. She kicks him a couple of times to make sure he's dead. After there is no reaction from Bubba, Angela turns and goes back over to Eddie, who is still lying on the ground. She sits down on her knees and studies Eddie. Eddie opens his eyes and looks at Angela. Angela brushes the matted hair out of his eyes. ANGELA: Eddie... (pause) Eddie... Eddie mouths a few words before actually talking. EDDIE: Angela... I'm dying here... (pause) You cannot refuse my dying wish... (pause) Cure me... you have the power. ANGELA: Eddie, I have no such powers. Do not be afraid of death. EDDIE: But you'll need my help. Stay... stay with me, Angela. Help me to meet death... If he sees you, he'll become frightened and let me live... you could put in a good word on my behalf, eh? Stay with me, Angela. Do this for me. ANGELA: I will. Eddie's eyes roll into the back of his head and he dies. Angela begins to quietly sob. After a few moments, she looks over at Bubba's corpse and notices the machete still sticking out of him. Angela stands up, wipes her eyes clear, then walks over to the machete and pulls it from Bubba's body. She then walks around to Bubba's head, draws back and chops downward, causing the scene to cut to black. CUT TO: Camp Rolling Hills dining hall. Int. Night. The camera is closed in on a copy machine, preparing a copy of something. The camera then pulls back, revealing Angela standing nearby. ANGELA: Copier, copier, down the hall. Who's the fairest of them all? Angela pulls the completed sheet of paper from the copier, revealing to the camera a photograph of her. ANGELA: Not me! Angela rips the sheet of paper to shreds, then tosses the remnants into the air. She then reaches over and picks up a skull, seated next to a row of six skulls. The skull is a rather large one, looking as though it could have belonged to Bubba. We can see that the dining hall has been cleared away of its debris that usually litters the place. In fact, there is no trash anywhere, save for two rows of beer cans. Angela draws back the skull, then rolls it along the floor as though it were a bowling ball. The skull slams into the beer cans, knocking every one of them over. ANGELA (as Al Bundy): Steeeeeeeeeee-rike! Fade to black. www.sleepawaycampfilms.com